As a toddler I remember preaching to my stuffed animals. After I would sit all of my stuffed animals down for church, I would prepare myself by placing my big blue Bible on my avocado green hamper, using my flash as a mic with a string attached as a chord. I would then preach to my stuffed animals very demonstratively – they were a tough audience.
I grew up in a good Christian home. We went to church every week and I read my Bible almost every day. But it wasn’t until my sophomore year in high school that I personally began to get close with the Lord. Between my sophomore year and senior year, our high school experienced an awesome revival.
It all started for me, when many of my classmates would gather around the bleachers for prayer at lunch. But for some reason, I did not attend and that bothered me. It bothered me so much that I went home that evening asking the Lord,
“Why? What’s wrong with me? Why am I not excited about You as my classmates are?”
Now like I said, I read my Bible almost every day. In fact, at the time I was actually following two different Bible reading programs. So, when I asked the Lord,
“Why? What’s wrong with me? Why am I not excited about You as my classmates are?”
“Read your Bible verses.”
My first reading was from Matthew 6:33,
“But seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”
I had read this verse so many times through the years, even as a youth. But this time I was very discontent. So, I asked the Lord,
“What do You mean seek first the Kingdom of God? What does that look like?”
“Read your next verse.”
So, I did from Jeremiah 29:11-13,
“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.”
I asked the Lord again,
“What does that mean: ‘To seek You with all my heart?’”
(Now the Lord, knew my three biggest prayers (cries) of my heart that I prayed ALL THE TIME: 1) I wanted true friends; 2) I wanted a girlfriend; 3) I wanted my life to count for someone or something.)
So, the Lord answered me and said:
“I want you to seek Me and spend time with Me just like you would those friends your cry out to Me for every day. I want you to seek Me like you fantasize having that special girlfriend you desire. I want you to spend time with Me like I was your greatest friend. I want you to seek Me like you have never sought or desired anything before. I want to be the greatest thing in your life. From now on, before you read your Bible pray, ‘Lord, teach me, help me understand Your Word.’ When you worship at church, I want you to stop going through the motions and worship Me like you never worshiped me before. When My Word is being taught, I want you to listen, like you never listened before. I want you to seek Me first and foremost in your life with a sincere ambition. And when you do you will find Me like you have never known Me before.”
I will never forget that night. That was the first and one of the most intimate conversations I ever had with the Lord in my entire life. My life was never the same since that night. I was not perfect, far from it. But my attitude began to change dramatically. I began to pursue God like I had never done before. Initially, I remember praying every day for the next several weeks,
“Lord, I don’t know how to be a Christian but here I am.”
Then over the next few weeks, I remember my desires changing. Now, my top three prayer requests were the same and they still are to this day. Having true friends has always been one of my most personal, sacred desires. My relationship with my wife has been one of the greatest friendships I have ever experienced. I pray every day that my life and ministry would make a difference for someone. Nonetheless, as I prayed every day for God to help me be a true Christian, I slowly began to pray:
“Lord, they don’t know how to be a Christian but there they are.”
Then for the next three years, until I graduated from high school, I got up early almost every morning, to go to the school early to pray. Sometimes I was there before they even unlocked the gates. But I would just circle the campus praying for revival to come to my school. But as I did this, my prayer time with the Lord became very intimate as I spent every morning with Him, thinking of Him and conversing with Him throughout my days. Sometimes other classmates would join me before school to pray, sometimes I was there alone. We also had prayer times and Bible studies throughout the day, after school and on weekends. I wasn’t perfect, but I remember praying early, almost every morning. Mainly, I prayed for revival to come to my high school and it did, in a very powerful and profound way. I will always cherish those years that changed my life forever.
During those same years, I remember coming across an article written by David Wilkerson called: The Church’s Greatest Hour is Still Ahead. In this article David Wilkerson wrote about when Israel came up out of the Red Sea, they sang praises to God for the mighty deliverance He provided. In this article, David began to describe how they must have said to each other,
“Never could there be so great a miracle as this! Never will the people of God be in such a severe a crisis as the one they had just come through. That generation after generation will remember that day. And they'll point back to it as the greatest proof of God's power and work among men on Earth!”
Indeed, for thousands of years this has been the case. Even David in the Psalms looked back to Israel's miraculous deliverance at the Red Sea and said,
“Come and see the works of God; He is awesome in His doing toward the sons of men. He turned the sea into dry land; They went through the river on foot. There we will rejoice in Him.” (Ps. 66:5-6)
What is more, Israel was commanded to tell each succeeding generation about God's great miracle-working power on their behalf. They were to use their deliverance at the Red Sea as their prime example,
“…telling the generations to come the praises of the Lord, and His strength and His wonderful works that He has done.” (Ps. 78:4)
Therefore, David said,
“I will open my mouth in a parable; I will utter dark sayings of old, which we have heard and known, and our fathers have told us…that the generation to come might know them, the children who would be born, that they may arise and declare them to their children…Marvelous things He did in the sight of their fathers, in the land of Egypt, in the field of Zoan. He divided the sea and caused them to pass through; and He made the waters stand up like a heap.” (Ps. 78:2-3, 6, 12-13)
David Wilkerson began to paint the portrait in my mind, that as a child, King David must have sat enthralled as he heard the story told over and over again: how God delivered his forefathers out of Egypt, how the sea rolled back, and Pharaoh's army was drowned. Now David told his children the same story of God's past deliverance. He testified,
"You know God lives – because He took our forefathers through the Red Sea on dry ground. Now, tell it to your children and your grandchildren!"
And they did. But when I read this article years ago, I remember David Wilkerson also saying this,
“But a time came when David could no longer just simply tell the story without asking God to do it again! Suddenly it wasn't enough just to talk about what God had done in the distant past. No, David wanted to see God deliver His people now!
“We have heard with our ears, O God, our fathers have told us, the deeds You did in their days, in days of old: You drove out the nations with Your hand…because You favored them.” (Ps. 44:1-3)
I remember during those years reading these words over and over again as David Wilkerson expressed David’s prayer of what I call ‘a holy dissatisfaction’ towards the Lord crying,
"Lord, all my life I've heard about what You did in the past – how these incredible scenes of Your glory were visibly manifested to my fathers. My children have heard of it, and now my grandchildren will hear of it. But do it again in our day!"
I also read how David bursts out exclaiming:
“You are my King, O God; command victories for Jacob.” (Ps. 44:4)
In other words, David was proclaiming:
"But God, you are my King also! Do these things again for Your people who are alive right now! I don't want to just hear only about the miracles of the past. Let me be a part of Your great miracle of deliverance today!"
Now as David spoke these words, he was in a time of deep trial, as was Israel. God's people faced a great crisis, and they needed a present-day deliverance. So, David came to the Lord with strong reasoning, crying out to the Lord:
"Oh Lord, Your children at the Red Sea may have thought there could never be a crisis like theirs again. But as far as I'm concerned, the crisis we face today is just as critical. What I'm going through now is just like facing the Red Sea, with Pharaoh and the enemy barreling down upon me. We've got to have a deliverance right now! We need a powerful manifestation of Your mighty, outstretched arm. Lord, do it again today!"
In a similar manner I remember studying revivals and reading the Scriptures as I would cry out to the Lord throughout each day, and as I circled my high school campus praying prayers like:
“Lord, I have heard of Your fame; I stand in awe of Your deeds, O Lord. Renew them in our day, in our time make them know; in wrath remember mercy.” (Habakkuk 3:2, NIV)
Or prayers like:
“Lord, do something in our land that will make the ears of everyone who hears of it tingle.” (1 Sam. 3:11, NIV)
Now, I didn’t know everything I know now, but my heart was true and pure I wanted to see God magnified in my day in my generation! I wanted to see revival in my high school, in my own life and in the Church at large. There was this holy dissatisfaction burning in my heart for the real and authentic Presence of God and the power of God to be manifested in our midst.
Beloved friends, I could write story after story of what our revival looked like. I saw many of my classmates, their siblings, parents, grandparents come to the Lord. I saw my entire high school close for a spiritual emphasis week, a year after I graduated. I saw miracles and so many powerful moves of God I could write about these events for months. It was so amazing.
You see, when I had that intimate prayer time with the Lord during my sophomore year before all of these amazing things began to take place. I also remember telling the Lord,
“I want to do this. I want to seek You like You like I have never done so before. I want to be on fire for you. I want to seek you with all of my heart. But the God I see in the Bible and the God I see in my life and overall in the Church seem to be two different Gods. I want to see and experience the God I read in Your Word or I don’t want any of this at all. I don’t want religion, I only want to experience the real True God.”
I told the Lord,
“Either You are Who You say You are or You’re not. I am not interested in being a phony Christian. I am not interested in being religious. But as long as You are the God, I read about and that is Who I can find, know and experience as I seek You with all of my heart, I will seek You with everything I have. Otherwise I don’t want to seek You at all, I want nothing to do with this.”
Why was I praying this way? I was surprised at my own forwardness. I didn’t know it at the time, but I believe I was totally dissatisfied with what I had witnessed in the Church overall and that holy dissatisfaction was stirring me and motivating me to press in for more.
In recent years I came across Andrew Wommack’s book, Don’t Limit God. In chapter one Andrew reveals how Oral Roberts began his ministry as he writes,
“I remember Oral Roberts talking about the very first meeting he held. He was sick and tired of seeing the powerlessness in the body of Christ and the lack of healing, he determined, ‘I’m not going to live this way. Either the Word is true and God does miracles today, or I’m gonna quit serving God and quit playing the game of being a pastor.’ He had to fight through unbelief and struggles, but when he began seeing miracles happen, he caught on fire and set others on fire too.”
After all of these years, it dawned on me that Oral Roberts had a similar dissatisfaction that I expressed in my own prayer time with the Lord as a young teenager. It is this same dissatisfaction I remember reading in David Wilkerson’s teaching article in regard to King David asking God to do the same miracles in his day. Beloved friends, like Oral Roberts, I firmly believe we have to come to the place where we are sick and tired of being sick and tired before we will aggressively pursue God’s best.
I believe we have to have a holy dissatisfaction with mediocrity before we can experience all that God has for us.
Experiencing all that God has for us does not happen accidently or automatically. If we don’t pursue it, we won’t get it. I believe the main reason most of us are not receiving everything God has provided for us is because we are so willing to settle for less. Very few are committed to pursuing everything God has for their lives. Jesus said,
“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.” (Mt. 7:7)
Beloved friends, we have to seek God with all our hearts (Jer. 29:11-13). We must reach a point where we won’t live with anything less than the fullness of what God has for us. I believe this holy dissatisfaction attitude is missing in a lot of our lives. The bar of expectancy even within much of the Church, has been lowered in regard to healing, finances and more.
Many people are walking with such a fear of disappointment verses walking in the fear of the Lord. I realize, nobody learns how to seek God and receive everything He has for them overnight. It is a discipleship process; it is a journey; a walk with God. But we need to begin moving in that direction. I am so convinced that God has more for us than most of us are experiencing. We need to seek God with all of our heart so that we can find Him and know Him as He wants to be known and experienced.
Paul prayed this for each of us,
“To know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us.” (Eph. 3:19-20)
You will never experience the fullness of God and receive the exceedingly and abundantly above all that you ask or think you until you become completely dissatisfied with second best – mediocrity.
“For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known.” (1 Cor. 13:12)
This was the Apostle Paul talking. This man had a revelation of God and His True Nature perhaps as no other person who has ever lived has had. Yet, Paul was comparing his own spiritual perception to looking through a dirty glass. Therefore friends, our best state now is not even comparable to what God has prepared for us who love Him (1 Jn. 3:1-2).
Now I believe, our knowledge, in our glorified bodies one day, will be equal to God’s knowledge of us now. We will be like Him (1 Jn. 3:1-2). I also believe that this is already a reality in our born-again spirits (1 Cor. 2:16), and to the degree that we renew our carnal minds, we can draw on that knowledge now.
Paul also prayed,
“That the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give to you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him, the eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that you may know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, and what is the exceeding greatness of His power toward us who believe, according to the working of His mighty power which He worked in Christ when He raised Him from the dead and seated Him at His right hand in the heavenly places, far above all principality and power and might and dominion, and every name that is named, not only in this age but also in that which is to come.” (Eph. 1:17-21)
Beloved friends, Paul prayed very earnestly that we would have the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of God. He prayed that the eyes of our understanding would be enlightened that we might know the hope of His calling.
True, we already have wisdom and prudence in our born-again spirits. These things came as part of the “package deal” of salvation. Nonetheless, we have to draw these things out of our spirits and get them into our minds and bodies to receive any of the benefits in this life. Therefore, Paul was praying that what is already true in our spirits will become our mental disposition. He was praying for a release into the physical of what is already present in our spiritual being.
Notice that Paul didn’t pray that God would give them more and more things, but rather that they would get a revelation of what had already been freely given to them in Christ. The Christian life is not an attempt to get more faith, more anointing, or to get closer to the Lord. We already have these things in their fullness (Rom. 12:3).
We just need a revelation of what is already ours.
Understanding this takes a lot of frustration and doubt away. It’s much easier to release something we already have than to try to get something that we don’t have. And why would any of us doubt that we would receive what we already have? Through Christ, we are already blessed with all spiritual blessings (Eph. 1:3). All we have to do is appropriate what is already ours, through the renewing of our minds (Rom. 12:2). That’s exactly what Paul was praying for us in Ephesians.
Unless you are willing to stand and fight the fight of faith, you will be overcome by this world. If you don’t stir up yourself, you will settle to the bottom. The world isn’t going to encourage you toward all that God has for you in Christ and unfortunately most Christians won’t either. Sadly, religion is one of Satan’s strongest weapons he uses to discourage people from believing for something more.
“His Lord said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant; you have been faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your lord.’” (Mt. 25:23)
If we are good stewards of what God gives us, I believe He will increase us to receive more. I want to encourage anyone who feels like they haven’t done much. God’s got something more for you. Your faithfulness will be rewarded.
“According to the grace of God which was given to me, as a wise master builder I have laid the foundation, and another builds on it. But let each one take heed how he builds on it. For no other foundation can anyone lay than that which is laid, which is Jesus Christ. Now if anyone builds on this foundation with gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, straw, each one’s work will become clear; for the Day will declare it, because it will be revealed by fire; and the fire will test each one’s work, of what sort it is.” (1 Cor. 3:10-13)
This is describing that as we go through life, we are either building with gold, silver, and precious stones or with wood, hay, and stubble. It does not say that everybody is building with gold, silver, and precious stones or that everybody is building with wood, hay, and stubble. We have a choice. The sad fact is that many of us build things in our lives and accomplish things that aren’t what God intended for us. And we count these things as a success.
But one day, we’re going to stand before the Lord, and He is going to put a fire to everything. It says in Matthew 12:36 that we’ll give an account of every idle word that we speak. So, God will hold us responsible for every action and for every word that comes out of our mouths. Anything of wood, hay, or stubble—even if it looks good to man and conforms to the world’s standard of success—is a work of the flesh and will count for nothing.
A lot of people think wood, hay, and stubble are referring to adultery, fornication, and drug addiction. But did you know that people have done things that would appear to be godly—started churches, been in a foreign mission field, and written worship music—but none of it was led by God?
It doesn’t matter whether the end result is good or not. God wants you to do what He has called you to do, and He wants you to do it out of His ability. I think what some call burnout is just people doing good things in their own strength and power. So stop relying on your own ability. If you don’t trust in the Lord, you can’t accomplish the things He’s planned for you and you won’t be a godly success.
Many people cannot say for sure what God has called them to do. They sincerely love God. They want Him to use them and bless them. But they don’t know for certain that they’re where they’re suppose to be.
I believe God has given some people a holy dissatisfaction.
He’s trying to stir you up! This is one of the ways God motivates you and let’s you know there’s something more.
“My frame was not hidden from You, when I was made in secret, and skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, the days fashioned for me, when as yet there were none of them.” (Ps. 139:15-16)
God had all of your days written out before you were born. You aren’t a mistake going somewhere to happen. You haven’t been placed on this earth by chance. Where and when you were born, the parents God gave you, your personality, and everything else about you was orchestrated by God for a specific purpose.
However, you can’t assume that God’s will is automatically going to come to pass in your life. It won’t. God’s will doesn’t always come to pass. Take salvation, for instance.
Second Peter 3:9 tell us,
“The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.”
It’s clear from this scripture that God wants everyone to come to repentance and be saved, yet we know not everyone does. God also wants everyone healed, yet people still live with sickness in their bodies. Likewise, God wants everyone to find and walk in the purpose He has ordained for them, yet not everyone will. But that’s not God’s fault.
Once you realize that you are the one responsible for discovering God’s will, the next step is to start seeking God for it. He’s not hiding His will from you. But you’re going to have to do some seeking to find it.
Jeremiah 29:12-13 tells us how we need to seek God:
“Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you. And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.”
Notice the emphasis on seeking with all your heart. As long as you can live without knowing God’s will for your life, you will. But when you seek with all your heart, you will find it (Matt. 7:7).
One mistake people often make in seeking God’s purpose is that they assume whatever they’re good at in the natural must be what God wants them to do. I don’t believe this is always true. Sometimes God calls us to do what is beyond our natural abilities. So that we have to rely on Him to get it done. Sometimes God’s will has nothing to do with our natural abilities.
”But when it pleased God, who separated me from my mother’s womb and called me through His grace,” (Gal. 1:15)
God purposed for Paul to be a minister before He was ever born. His life was predestined just as your is. So, if you only look at what you’re good at to determine your purpose, you may totally miss it. I believe most people are not accomplishing what God has called them to do. They may be doing some good things. But that does not necessarily mean they are walking in God’s purpose for their lives. Not everything that is good is from God.
Beloved friends, God’s perfect will is worth finding. Supernatural peace and joy come from when you are in the center of His will. God’s blessing and anointing will always be on your work when you are doing what He has called you to do.
Do you feel dissatisfied or unsettled with your life? Are you tired of going to work, coming home, watching TV, going to bed, then getting up and doing it all over again? If so, maybe God has placed a holy dissatisfaction within you in hopes of provoking you to start seeking His perfect will for your life.
In conclusion, I want to share what is really stirring my own heart with a holy dissatisfaction. It is the same dissatisfaction that has stirred my heart since I was in high school. It is the same dissatisfaction that has stirred my heart to be in the ministry all of these years. It is the same dissatisfaction that stirred my heart when I read David Wilkerson’s article about King David’s own dissatisfaction. It is the same dissatisfaction that has stirred my heart when I read Andrew Wommack’s book in regard to Oral Robert describing his own holy dissatisfaction. It is the same dissatisfaction that has stirred my heart to do everything we do in this church, on this website and even in this Message.
I want to enable people to become established in their identity, equipped in His Word and empowered to fulfill their destiny!
Are you satisfied with how many people you are seeing born-again in your circle of influence? Are you satisfied with the number of people you are seeing being healed from all kinds of viruses and vicious diseases? Are you satisfied with experiencing the fullness of God and His mighty power working in and through your life and those you know? Is there something stirring in your heart to experience more than what we are experiencing in and through your church today?
I believe God is stirring our hearts with a holy dissatisfaction.
Praise God. Let’s respond to the Spirit of God and allow Him to motivate to seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness with all of our hearts. Let us allow God to use this holy dissatisfaction to stir our hearts for the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him, that our eyes of our understanding would be enlightened to know the hope of His calling. That we would know the exceeding greatness of His power, according to the working of His mighty power which He worked in Christ when He raised Him from the dead and put all things underneath His feet, His church.